Hey all, sorry I'm behind schedule again. I went to Monday Night Raw last night. By the way, if you've never been, go.
It's amazing.
OK, for no particular reason, I'm going to dedicate this edition of Old Shit Monday to Latino Rapper of the 1990s.
1) Mellow Man Ace - "Mentirosa" (1990)
This isn't super well-known, but Mellow Man Ace is the brother of Cypress Hill's Sen Dog, and was originally in an early incarnation of Cypress. In '88, Mellow went solo, and when he had huge chart success with "Mentirosa" in 1990, it seemed like he made the right decision.
Perhaps looking back now, Mellow wishes he had stayed in the group.
None the less, "Mentirosa" was the first Top-40 hip-hop song to feature Spanish lyrics, making Mellow Man Ace a bit of a trailblazer.
This video has a little bit of everything: hot dancing girls; a courtroom scene; weird Catholic imagery; sheepskin coats; hats. They need to make more videos like this one.
2) The Beatnuts - "Reign of the Tec" (1993)
I'm not 100% sure what pre-Giuliani New York looked like, but I have a feeling it was probably not unlike this video; a lot of heavily armed sociopaths running around and selling dope.
The Beatnuts are definitely on my list for the greatest rap group of all-time, and are probably number one on my list when it comes to most underrated. This song comes off their debut, Intoxicated Demons, and is interesting because it features The Nuts old three-man line-up, featuring Al-Tariq, then known as Kool Fashion, who found Allah and quit the group in 1995.
Another interesting thing about "Reign of the Tec" is that it would be literally impossible to make this song today. It features a sample from both Brand Nubian and Black Sabbath. There are songs on Demons that sample from five different songs. There is no way a modern rapper could afford the clearance on that many samples, which is sad, because Demons is a super bad-ass album.
3) Lighter Shade of Brown - "Hey DJ" (1994)
OK, first off, you could play that World's Famous Supreme Team sample and attach it to anything, and I'd love it.
Also, the women in this video are stellar. They really could teach a thing or two to the gross, plastic, video hos of today.
And finally, did anyone else notice that this clip is directed by X-Men 2's Brett Ratner? Weird.
I tend to forget how much I like Fat Joe. He's a technically above-average MC, with what I would call a classic, battle-influenced New York flow, heavy with wordplay, metaphors, and punchlines, and when he wants to, he can make some bloodcurdlingly credible threats.
The reason I forget how much I love Joe is that while he's a great MC, he makes a lot of shit. His biggest commercial hit of all-time is still the absolutely terrible "What's Luv?", a duet with that breathy-voiced waste of skin Ashanti and the shirtless wonder, Ja Rule. Every time he makes some incredible, awesome piece of Goodfellas-on-wax type of gangster shit, he seems to have this inexplicable need to balance it out with a rap-ballad or an inane party jam.
"Hey Joe" features Señor Cartagena at his absolute best, and flips a Jimi Hendrix sample to make the chorus. The song has been making the rounds on the web for a couple months, but the video just came out this week.
Oh, and by the way, if MuchMusic showed videos like this one, I would still watch it as religiously as I did when I was 13. Just saying.
OK, while "The Message" is sort of a novelty tune, it does prove my point that "bassline house" and "UK funky house," are basically just re-warmed two-step garage.
It's also a lot of fun.
For those of you who don't quite get what's going on here, UK-based producer/MC Smasher has gathered together some of the better known names of the old UK garage/two-step scene and put them together on one massive reunion track.
(I'm sure he didn't have too hard a time. I can't imagine these guys are very busy these days.)
Is it a collection of old two-step clichés? Yes. Is the video unbelievably budget? Yes.
Do I really like it? Is it, is it wicked? Yes. In fact, I would go so far as to say I'm lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it like this.
People tend to think of me as a hip-hop guy, with touches of electro thrown in for balance. While I can't say I'm surprised, anyone who knows me really well knows that this is a little inaccurate. In fact, my rock-fan cred is pretty deep.
I was a full-blown punk rocker for much of high school. I almost peed myself when I went to see Iron Maiden live. I count The Smiths among my favourite bands. I've rediscovered The Stranglers lately. I own a Discharge album, for fuck sake. I have Youth of Today on vinyl.
I just don't like much new rock. There's some stuff in the last decade or so that's caught my attention. I like pretty much anything that could be dubbed dance-rock or disco-punk -- think DFA Records, The Faint, CSS. I enjoy a lot of the blues-inspired stuff, like Soledad Brothers and The Black Keys. I really like all that British angular stuff, like Art Brut and Bloc Party. I think Fucked Up may be the greatest thing to come out of Toronto in years.
I just think that nine-tenths of modern indie-rock sounds like it was made by pussies, for pussies. I don't care if it makes me a bad white, Torontonian 20-something, Broken Social Scene make me throw up in my mouth. Honestly, it's all so soft. It's fine if you're a weepy, anemic bitch, but that's about it.
God, make something that sounds painful, or intimidating, or something. Just don't make music that sounds like it was made by a bunch of weepy, anemic art students.
If you're not sure where to start, listen to this song by The Raveonettes. It's about being in love with a heroin addict, and it sounds like old Jesus and Mary Chain.
OK, I'm re-starting this bitch... updates are now Thursday and Monday.
So, I was at a rather excellent party last night, hosted by my fam, The FAM, and there was a DJ who was playing a lot of shit with analog synths, which I really enjoyed. So, to show my love for analog synths, and to show my appreciation to The FAM, here's the best of early rave, as presented by Dart on the Bus.
1) The Prodigy - "Charly" (1991)
What happens when you combine four wasted lads from Essex, an absolutely terrifying PSA aimed at children, and 120 beats per minute? You get "Charly," The Prodigy's first British hit. For those of you who are innocent, or thick, Charly refers to cocaine. It's also the name of the manic, wild-eyed cat from the ads.
I have no proof of this, but it's probably no coincidence that the song is about blow, and the cat looks pretty high.
This is one of those songs that makes me dance to my iPod on the streetcar. I blame this song for making me look like an idiot on many occasions.
2) The Shamen - "Move Any Mountain" (1991)
When "Move Any Mountain" came out, I wasn't old enough to go out, get pilled up and dance all night. I was ten, and I was in day camp.
One day during lunch, all the counselors started freaking out to a song that someone had on a mixtape. Most of my fellow campers were either indifferent to it, or thought it was crap, due to it's total failure to sound anything like either New Kids on the Block or Warrant. I was transfixed. I made them play it again. And again. And again. Then, the weekend, I made my dad drive me to the mall so I could buy the cassette single.
That song, as you've figured out by now, was "Move Any Mountain." I heard it for the first time in YEARS a few weeks ago. It's funny, because ten years ago, this song would have sounded super dated, but since "Nu Rave" has put analog synths back in fashion, it actually sounds pretty fresh.
3) Moby - "Go" (1991)
Before Moby was a weird, bald, famous, Vegan electronic music producer, he was a weird, unknown, Vegan electronic music producer with hair.
This is my absolute favourite Moby track ever. That's it.
