Get Fresh Thursday...

In keeping with the day change, Tuesday is now Thursday... try to keep up kids.

1) Fat Joe - "Hey Joe" (from The Message)

I tend to forget how much I like Fat Joe. He's a technically above-average MC, with what I would call a classic, battle-influenced New York flow, heavy with wordplay, metaphors, and punchlines, and when he wants to, he can make some bloodcurdlingly credible threats.

The reason I forget how much I love Joe is that while he's a great MC, he makes a lot of shit. His biggest commercial hit of all-time is still the absolutely terrible "What's Luv?", a duet with that breathy-voiced waste of skin Ashanti and the shirtless wonder, Ja Rule. Every time he makes some incredible, awesome piece of Goodfellas-on-wax type of gangster shit, he seems to have this inexplicable need to balance it out with a rap-ballad or an inane party jam.

"Hey Joe" features Señor Cartagena at his absolute best, and flips a Jimi Hendrix sample to make the chorus. The song has been making the rounds on the web for a couple months, but the video just came out this week.

Oh, and by the way, if MuchMusic showed videos like this one, I would still watch it as religiously as I did when I was 13. Just saying.



2) "The Message" - Smasher feat. UKG All-Stars (from The Guardian Music Blog)

OK, while "The Message" is sort of a novelty tune, it does prove my point that "bassline house" and "UK funky house," are basically just re-warmed two-step garage.

It's also a lot of fun.

For those of you who don't quite get what's going on here, UK-based producer/MC Smasher has gathered together some of the better known names of the old UK garage/two-step scene and put them together on one massive reunion track.

(I'm sure he didn't have too hard a time. I can't imagine these guys are very busy these days.)

Is it a collection of old two-step clichés? Yes. Is the video unbelievably budget? Yes.

Do I really like it? Is it, is it wicked? Yes. In fact, I would go so far as to say I'm lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it like this.



3) "Last Dance" - The Raveonettes (from Fantastic Weapon)

People tend to think of me as a hip-hop guy, with touches of electro thrown in for balance. While I can't say I'm surprised, anyone who knows me really well knows that this is a little inaccurate. In fact, my rock-fan cred is pretty deep.

I was a full-blown punk rocker for much of high school. I almost peed myself when I went to see Iron Maiden live. I count The Smiths among my favourite bands. I've rediscovered The Stranglers lately. I own a Discharge album, for fuck sake. I have Youth of Today on vinyl.

I just don't like much new rock. There's some stuff in the last decade or so that's caught my attention. I like pretty much anything that could be dubbed dance-rock or disco-punk -- think DFA Records, The Faint, CSS. I enjoy a lot of the blues-inspired stuff, like Soledad Brothers and The Black Keys. I really like all that British angular stuff, like Art Brut and Bloc Party. I think Fucked Up may be the greatest thing to come out of Toronto in years.

I just think that nine-tenths of modern indie-rock sounds like it was made by pussies, for pussies. I don't care if it makes me a bad white, Torontonian 20-something, Broken Social Scene make me throw up in my mouth. Honestly, it's all so soft. It's fine if you're a weepy, anemic bitch, but that's about it.

God, make something that sounds painful, or intimidating, or something. Just don't make music that sounds like it was made by a bunch of weepy, anemic art students.

If you're not sure where to start, listen to this song by The Raveonettes. It's about being in love with a heroin addict, and it sounds like old Jesus and Mary Chain.